For over a year, I have been hyper-focused on Babs, our 22-year-old palomino, as she strives to find comfort in an ailing body. I have felt glimmers of hope when I’ve witnessed her more engaged and lively, but more times than not, her suffering was obvious: Wincing eyes, measured breaths, and clenched jaw. Since Spring, there has been a noticeable shift. She seems in constant movement, as if running away from the pain, and in the last few months she has increased her distance from the herd … a request they have honoured. The question soon became obvious: How would it be for this aging and painful body to manage another cold and wet winter? After deep soul searching and an in-depth consultation with our vet, we made the decision to say goodbye.
I write this the day before the vet returns to aid in Babs’ transition. My body is on edge and my solar plexus pulls inward as if I am trying to physically move away from my grief. I have tried distracting myself with the most mundane of chores and business, but it doesn’t work. I am completely undone. My Anam Cara family is slowly aging and passing away and my heart hurts.
Eighteen years of friendship, almost two decades of being privy to the wisdom and kindness of this highly social being, and tomorrow she will be gone in a blip of time.
To Babs I owe tremendous gratitude and appreciation as an important member of our family. I know her light will remain after her physical presence is gone; she has touched too many to be forgotten. As the days and weeks pass I will keep her image of sunshine and radiant warmth spreading out into the universe in my mind and heart. Please know we will write a tribute soon but till then, we love you so deeply, Babs.