A Light In Shining Armour
Selena had a strength, an internal fire that radiated from her. Her communication skills were excellent with expressions and body language that were far from subtle. And while she was mostly patient with human foibles, she demanded patience and respect with a formidable armour that protected her sensitive inner world. She kept everyone on their toes wishing they had eyes at the back of their heads. Selena was not for the faint of heart. But heart was what she had for those who took the time to ask, wait, and notice.
Selena helped me to deepen my understanding of the effects of trauma. Not only the trauma experienced by nonhuman animals but that of human clients and of my own. She taught me that safety was the key to connection, to learning, to being with, and being within our own bodies. She was also incredible at setting boundaries and asking for what she needed, even if this meant disappointing a human client, or me as her guardian.
When Selena first came to us I would introduce her to new clients as someone we can observe but not partner with. “She isn’t a part of our programs,” I would say. After a year or two I realized how wrong I was. Like many who have experienced trauma, Selena had been participating all along ―watching, learning, and assessing her own safety. She modelled and reflected back to many of us the ways in which we operate in this world.
Selena’s style of connection was unique. While there was no doubt she wanted to connect, she preferred the safety that only physical distance could provide. But even this softened over the years as she slowly let her guard down and allowed certain people to get close.
I had a longtime client who expressed interest in working with Selena. Although it wasn’t an easy decision – Selena had been known to bite when scared and when her request for space was ignored – I agreed. This was a person who noticed nuances, was patient, and had a keen sense of observation. I felt there could be healing and the results did not disappoint. The two years partnership was like a slow but intentional dance that fostered an intimate and trusting connection. Selena, the client, and myself were all transformed. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed.
The blessings I received from Selena are many. In the fifteen years I knew her, I was able to take my horsemanship skills and practice of partnering with horses to a much deeper level. I got to know her and earn her trust―a gift I could never repay. I know that Selena is here in spirit but the absence of her physical presence is profound. I also know that her teachings will continue to unfold as I reflect and share her story. May she rest easy.